First Day. First Grade.

 

This morning, we had planned to walk to school with friends.  He wanted me to take him into class.  I smiled because he still wants me around, he told Dave to go to work.   

Then, it started to pour.  And thunder.  Our plans for walking to school with friends were thwarted.  I started a mad scramble for figuring out the logistics of Finn, Tate, a stroller, the pouring rain, and where to park.

I forgot first day pictures until we were in the car.  So I pulled out my cell phone and got one in his seat. 

Smile!  I’m clearly winning mother of the year over here.

“I can go in by myself, Mom.”  I dropped him at the front door and he assured me he was ok.  The rain was down to a sprinkle at that point.  There was barely even time to say goodbye because people had parked all over, blocking normal traffic flow. 

This wasn’t how I wanted this to go.  I wanted to walk him in and snap pictures at his desk and tell him to learn something cool.

He hopped out of the car, shut the door, and I realized in an instant that I had forgotten to give him a hug.  I had forgotten the one thing I had done every single day of last school year.  If there weren’t ten cars of frazzled parents behind me vying for a place to drop their child off, I would have yelled after him.  And probably done a Chariots of Fire run through the parking lot and squeezed the shit out of him. 

Instead, my eyes welled and I tried to calmly talk to Tate who cried the moment he shut the door.

She sobbed harder as we pulled in the driveway and tried to keep me from unbuckling her.  As a bonus, it was pouring again.  Thirty minutes after dropping him off, she wailed, “Let's go get Finna Jaaaames. Heeeee's aaaaat schoooOOOOoool.”  She also told me 72 times that she wanted to go to school with Finn and reminded me that she had a Monsters University folder.

Because in her mind, that is the height of preparation.  Never mind the fact that she two and doesn’t have complete control over her bodily functions.  She’s ready.  She has the folder to prove it.

I kept thinking to myself, I need a do over.  A perfect first day of first grade morning, one where I don’t feel like everything is falling apart.

We walked to pick him up at midday and I gave him that hug as soon as he was out the door.  We took those first day pictures, he walked home and chatted with his friends, and we went and had a special lunch out.

Admittedly, it wasn’t fantastic, but there is always tomorrow.