About Us: Lora + Dave, Married 13 years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Lora is the brilliant blogger behind Fever.  I don’t even know how to describe her writing except to say that I love it.  She has an uncanny knack for talking about the most random shit that keeps me glued to the post until the very last punctuation mark.  I mean really, read this post and tell me you won’t be subscribing to her. 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

18 years together, and we still argue about who liked whom first!  I didn't know he spoke English when I first saw him.  We were next door neighbors in the co-ed freshmen dorms (mothers, don't let your babies live in co-ed dorms) and would say hello to one another but that was it.  Since he never spoke to me, I assumed he didn't speak English.  I never once thought he wouldn't speak to me for any other reason.  Turns out he was shy and had a crush. We started hanging out together and he wouldn't kiss me, so I kissed him first.  He claims I attacked him.

What has being married taught you?

That being married is the hardest thing about marriage!  It can be a battle.  Sometimes one on one between us and sometimes the two of us against the world.  It's all about compromise and communication and creativity and compassion and caring and probably all sorts of other c-words.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together? 

Not sure what the most fun thing is, but we enjoyed traveling after we first got married, before we had to buckle down and get real grown-up jobs.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry? 

It depends what the issue is.  Sometimes we can just let the issue fizzle out.  Sometimes one of us has to give an ultimatum to the the other. Flexibility is key, as is being open to a vast continuum of problem solving.

Of course!  The worst advice we ever got was "never go to bed angry".  Sometimes tempers flare because people are exhausted.  Everyone has a clearer head in the morning, and sleep is restorative and therapeutic.  Who wants to stay up all night fighting?  That's craziness!  That said, one of us might not go to BED angry.  But we both go to SLEEP angry.  Sometimes it's okay for someone to angrily sleep on the couch.  Anger should be kept out of the bedroom.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Communication.  Real, live, down and dirty, soul-baring communication.  It's also the hardest thing to do sometimes.  You have to work to be happy.  Every single day.