Triple Shot.

I don’t know about you, but I believe the Universe works in mysterious ways.  It can bring two people together.  It can gently remind us things aren’t the way they should be.  And then, there is the big old slap in the face.

I don’t really do subtle, so this is usually the form that the Universe takes when speaking to me.

Monday, I texted Dave and asked him {again} to help me figure out the espresso machine.  It isn’t that I am an idiot really, but you all know I am spoiled, the Davester usually makes it for me.  Plus, he doesn’t like it when I break his stuff.  He called me and walked me through grinding the beans with his fancy pants grinder and making a double shot.  I whipped up a cup of hot cocoa {extra marshmallows} for Finnegan and an afternoon vanilla mocha for myself and then, I posted this on Twitter:

Yesterday, I hit my afternoon slump and decided that it was a triple shot kind of day.  I started whipping it up, the smugness permeating the vanilla latte.  Oh yeah.  I don’t need your help any more, Sucka.

Everything was coming up Millhouse. 

Until I tried to remove the thingy with the espresso powder in it.  {That, I think, is the technical term?}  It was stuck.

Shoot.  Do I call Dave? 

No way.

I push it, at which point the thing EXPLODES with a bang, shooting the still hot espresso powder everywhere.  It was on the floor, on the counter, on the tops of drawers, all over the machine, all over me.  It blew the metal basket holding the powder straight across the room and the plastic grate with it.  Finn came running from the other room when he heard the boom. 

Someone {Jess} really should have told me that Twitter has a direct line to the Universe, I might not have signed up for this.

Apparently, Dave says, you need to wait five minutes for the pressure to subside and/or release the top thingy {also the technical term} so the pressurized steam can escape and NOT blow all over the kitchen. 

Which is WHY, Michelle, it was ‘stuck’ and not opening.

Thanks, Universe, I’ve got that now.  Loud and freaking clear.

And just to drive home the message a teeny bit more…  I cleaned off the counters of the insane amount of espresso powder {so VERY much powder everywhere} and bent down to clean it off the floor when riiiiiiip, a hole right in the butt of my beloved monkey pajamas.  Ok, ok, they are 10 years old and the flannel is so worn it is almost see through, but REALLY Universe?  Really?  The monkey pajamas?

I was going to take a picture of my butt, but Finn {rightly} said, “Mom, no one needs to see that.”

Drinking that triple shot of karma right now, Universe.  Thanks.  Thanks a freaking lot.

If you want to see what I say to piss the Universe off next, follow me on twitter  @SoWondSoMarv