Breastfeeding and Formula Feeding.

Breastfeeding and formula feeding.  We do both at our house.

If you’ve spent much time around So Wonderful, So Marvelous, you know that Tate didn’t come easily.  And Neither did Finn.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that not only did my polycystic ovary issues make getting pregnant nearly impossible, but also wreaked havoc on breastfeeding once I finally had my sweet Finnegan.

With Finn, I had no clue why there was a breastfeeding problem.  Everybody makes milk.  It’s natural.  It’s supposed to be easy!  The lactation consultants were perplexed.  He was latching perfectly, sucking furiously, and still losing weight.  In the hospital, we began supplementing after the on staff pediatrician made me feel like I was purposefully starving my baby.  Yes, the baby that we had struggled so hard to have, the baby that we both wanted more than anything in the entire world.  Did I mention that my nipples were cracked and bleeding from all of the pumping and feeding to try anything to get my milk to come in?  {And yes, I made it known to the hospital that the way the doctor handled the situation was unacceptable.} 

When we got home from the hospital, I told Dave I was giving up.  I cried to him.  I felt like a failure. 

Instead of listening to me the hormones, Dave went and rented a hospital grade pump.  He came home, told me that it was mine for a month to either use or not, but he was giving me the option because he knew how much I wanted to breastfeed.

So, I pumped and continued to breastfeed and supplemented with formula.  Sometimes it was a lot of formula, but he always got some milk from me too.  One thing that helped my {totally irrational} guilt was hearing our pediatrician tell us that even if he was only getting a tablespoon a day, he was getting the benefits of breast milk. 

There were these nagging moments that would creep in, of feeling like I had somehow let him down.  Once, an acquaintance asked me if I was nursing.  Finally feeling at peace with our situation, I explained that I was breast feeding and supplementing with formula.  She told me right there on the street, three month old infant in my arms, that I was given the wrong information.  Our bodies are meant to feed our babies, stop supplementing and your body will catch up, she said.  It crushed me to smile and nod, pretend to listen and try not to cry.

Other moms gave me the sidelong glance when I pulled out a bottle of formula.  

Most of all, it was me… I wanted nothing more than to be that mom who could just pull out a boob and feed my baby.  I wanted that for Finn.  I wanted it for myself.  I didn’t want to cart around bottles and formula.  I didn’t want to do twice the work, breastfeeding him then pulling out a bottle, mixing up formula, and feeding him again.  I was hardest on myself. 

It wasn’t even the formula.  I don’t subscribe to the camp that likens formula to poison.  Formula nourishes babies every single day, all over the world.  It makes it possible for babies to grow and thrive, whether by choice or by necessity.  For me, it just hurt so much to know that after all the struggles to get pregnant, here was yet another obstacle, another thing, screwing it up. 

I found my rhythm and made the best with the hand we were dealt.  We lasted 15 months breastfeeding, Finn and I.  It is one of the things I am most proud of in my life.  It certainly wasn’t easy, but it sure was worth it.

When I got pregnant with Tate, I knew that I wanted to be proactive about breastfeeding.  I did a lot of reading and talking with my lovely, wonderful, amazing friend who also had supply issues.  It helps tremendously to have someone you can talk to, to call crying, who realizes the struggle you’re going through. 

I wanted so badly for breastfeeding to work with Tate.  I wanted nothing more than the feeling of my baby curled up next to me, satisfied and asleep with a milk drunk smile on her face.

I decided to start with herbal supplements.  A couple months before I had Tate, I started taking Alfalfa and Goat’s Rue in addition to my pre-natal vitamin.  I also started taking Shatavari and Red Clover after having her. 

I figured out that because of my PCOS, I probably have a very mild form of IGT, insufficient glandular tissue.  This basically means that thanks to whacky hormones going through puberty, my body didn’t make enough of the milk production glands.  When you’re a D-cup, you never really figure that you might have less boobs than you need, but it turns out that IGT doesn’t discriminate based on breast size.  I am one of the lucky ones, if ever there is a ‘lucky’ here, there are some women who never produce a drop of breast milk.

We did a lot of non-medicinal things as well like having skin to skin contact as much as possible the first month, feeding on demand, and pumping to let my body know there was a need for more milk.  About a month after she was born, I started taking Domperidone which is a drug not readily available in the US that has been shown to increase supply.  The results differ for everyone, but I have had some success with it.  There are some times when we don’t even need to supplement.

As an aside: I personally did not want to take Reglan which is the ‘go to’ supply increasing drug here in the US.  I have close family members with histories of depression and after reading the side effects and success rates decided that it was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. 

This time, I was more relaxed.  I also had the benefit of having breastfed before and knew what to expect.  Often {not always} with subsequent babies, women naturally have an increased supply of breast milk.  I knew going in that I might need to supplement and so I did my research and chose a formula I was comfortable with {Earth’s Best Organic if you’re wondering} and had some on hand rather than getting stuck with whatever samples we were given.  We rented a hospital grade pump again {the Medela Symphony} and I’ve been having much more success pumping.  

Most importantly, I’m less hard on myself.  She is healthy and happy and that is what matters.

There is so much controversy about breast versus formula feeding.  I’m here to tell you that sometimes, a middle ground does exist… not by choice, but by necessity.  And maybe, just maybe, we should give all moms the benefit of the doubt no matter what their feeding choices might be.

For us, we’ve found our balance Miss Tate and I.  The view from here… it’s full.

Here are a list of resources that I found helpful:

The best was this book.  The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk: Foreword by Martha Sears, RN {Amazon Affiliate Link}

PCOS and Breastfeeding

Living with Chronic Low Milk Supply

Domperidone

Casey’s Story

Anna Talks About the Breastfeeding Industry