Today is an Epic Life Fail kind of day. You know the ones… the days where you feel like you can’t do anything right, you’re far behind in everything and the baby vomits on you, all before 10 am?
Just me? Ahem.
Send help.
Most of the time I feel like I have my shit together. Today, These last few weeks, not so much.
My coping skills are nil for feeling like a failure. Add that to the list.
Our house is a mess. Add that to the list.
My husband, bless him, is being SO incredibly patient dealing with the crazy. Add that to the list.
Our checking account is laughably empty for two days. Add that to the list.
I haven’t caught up with my friends in weeks. Add that to the list.
And that baby? She keeps throwing up on whatever I’ve just washed. Her clothes. Our comforter. Her sheets. Her car seat. It is seriously like Vomageddon up in these parts.
And Finn? He’s starting preschool in a week and I am just not prepared for that. Not at all. Not one little bit.
It’s hard juggling two, keeping up with the house, being a good wife and mom, and still maintaining my own sanity. Hard, I say!
I dropped the ball on Dave’s birthday. I mean, yes, we celebrated with his family and mine, but I always do something special for him and I didn’t. I just didn’t. It’s not even that he minds, because frankly he could care less, but I mind. I mind a lot, in fact.
It’s not just his birthday either. Right now, I have probably six, maybe seven loads of laundry to do, to fold, to put away. That is absolute madness in this house. The kitchen is a wreck and I feel like I spend half my life loading and unloading the dishwasher these days. I would just be a mess if someone came over to my house right now. It’s a disaster area. There are unread magazines piled up. There are dust bunnies elephants living in corners. We still haven’t finished up everything in our room either, so my dining room is a dumping ground of bedroom stuff {because who knows what is in there really} and a bunch of crafty projects I’m working on right now.
And this blog. Failing you guys sucks too. I want to be posting pictures and cute tutorials and yummy recipes and doing nice stuff for you… not whining and carrying on like a baby and asking you to listen to it.
So what do you do? Am I the only one? Tell me your formula for fixing those Epic Life Fail days. And send wine. Lots of it.
25 comments:
Michelle--it will be OK! The house can be clean when the kids move out! Now, love on them and have a great time enjoying your kids. You're a great mom and wife, give it time. You're Awesome!!! Great seeing you this weekend!!
Deep cleansing breathes....that's better! I wish I had the magic potion to help you out especially since I often feel the same way (without the baby vomit or pre-school thing of course). But don't worry we will all still be here when the crazy settles. Glad I didn't try to "surprise" visit you last weekend becuase it may have set you over the edge! Love you!
Dude you have a wee baby in the house, it's called life not fail. Don't be so hard on yourself. As long as the kids are happy more than not, you are WINNING!
If your kids are fed, clean (mostly), somewhere to sleep, and LOVED, your doing it all. Anything thing else is just a plus. I had one of my moments the other day. For some reason I felt better crying about it over the phone with my mom (at work, bonus!). The only thing you can do, is do what you can each day. Some day (or week, month) you will return to your old self. I promise! It happens to us all and then once you "recover", you will be giving out your great tips on how you survived. I hope you have a better day. ♥
My dining room table looks like a laundry bomb exploded on it. We had a flood in our bathroom, so all the contents in my closet are in my bedroom.
I do not sweat the "what I didn't get done" anymore. I have too many kids to care. I make a list the night before and try to accomplish everything on it. Each day I clean a different part of the house it works for me, then when my older girls get home, they help with a few chores.
PS about the list, I only put 4-5 items on it. That way I do not feel overwhelmed when I see it!
PSS I also read a little bit of my bible study each day to give me perspective.
Michelle, it's okay...just be comforted to know that as mothers, we have all had those kinds of days where we wish we could just bury our heads under the covers for a day or two! This too, shall pass...just know that prayers are being sent your way for a beautiful day today!
Oh Michelle - been there, done that!!!! Let's face reality here, you are NOT Superwoman, you are human. And that skinny bitch couldn't be nearly as awesome as you are!!! You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Those dishes, they will still be there tomorrow, when you feel like doing them. As long as you, Dave and FInn have clean underwear, the laundry can wait until your sanity returns to you. The vomiting thing, well, I had 2 kids with acid reflux that projectile puked on everything. That was a never ending battle. You can ask any of my friends, I wore a big old Penn State hoodie and scrub pants for weeks on end. There were times I felt like I could wring out my shirt and fill a bottle with regurgitated formula (nice, hun?!). As far as Dave's birthday, I am sure he truly could care less. The male species is kinda ridiculous about birthdays. My son was born the day before his dad's 30th, and I didn't so much as get him a gift. Someone brought us cake in the hospital. This year, just do something special the 2 of you for his 1/2 birthday. Total girl thought right there... men don't even realize they have a 1/2 birthday ;o) I believe I told you that I called my mom crying everyday for many weeks after my second child. I can only imagine what is going to happen when this one arrives. But I want you to mark my words - IT DOES GET EASIER!!!!!! IT WILL GET BETTER AND YOUR LIFE WILL FEEL "NORMAL" ONCE AGAIN!!!! One day you will wake up and your life will all fall back in place like nothing ever happened. It's honestly very strange when it happens. The most important thing is taking care of #1 - yourself #2 your family. As long as everyone is happy (for the most part) then you are doing a fantastic job. Chin up kid... and if you have another shitty epic fail day, know that you have a bizillion people behind you. Give someone a call, shoot someone and email. You aren't a burden or a bother - especially if the other person has been there and done that!!!!!
I always have days like that! You are so NOT alone. Actually most days I feel like that. I try to work on one thing at a time and finish that up before I move on to the next chore. It's so hard to get stuff done with the kids around. My boys are so wild and crazy, sometimes it's impossible to load the dishwasher and put away laundry because as I am doing that they are destroying the house and making another freaking mess for me to clean up;)
Oh and on most nights I have a couple glasses of wine....have you ever tried any the the Cupcake wines? They are delish!!
Um... You just had a baby! I'm sure it's easier said than done, but cut yourself some slack. Then throw in a load of laundry and do the dishes. Everything else will get done when it gets done. *Hugs*
Michelle: My life sounds a lot like yours (only with slightly less vomit). The thing is: I only have one child and he is now in full-day kindergarten. You have reasons for feeling overwhelmed, but what the hell is my excuse? Things will get easier--someday--and in the meantime, wine helps. :) Take care of yourself. Tricia
Think of it this way - your messy house just means a happy family LIVES there!
I do remember that vomit thing - I think I smelled like baby vomit for a good solid year.
It WILL get better. Though I'm sure it doesn't feel like it. And if someone offers to help - LET THEM! It's the best gift you can give yourself!
Although I only have one little one there are days when I feel exactly the same way!
We just had BOTH grandmothers visit (for two weeks!) and instead of things getting easier things just got crazier. Now that they are gone and I get to clean up the aftermath (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, getting back on schedule, etc,) and take care of a teething seven month old, I feel like I'm going crazy!
Some days just vegging out and accepting that it is what it is works, and other days a strict cleaning schedule works, while other days just work better while getting out of the house and rejuvenating yourself!
As long as your babies are happy then everything else is just the background! (Maybe a messy background, but just a background none-the-less!)
Hi Michelle!
I used to lurk on the knot board back in the day, and stumbled on to your blog recently! I love this post. You have helped me so much by writing this. Every day I look at your blog, and often feel like I'm not quite measuring up. Blogs and FB posts often have this way of painting a perfect life for people. As much fun as it is to get your recipe for ice cream cake, it's also nice to see you are a real person too.
Good luck with the laundry, and the puke *will* stop eventually :-)
*HUG* Things are crazy, we understand. This too, shall pass!
Sometimes getting it all out on the ol' blog does wonders for your mood. You're doing great and NO ONE is feeling short-changed, I can bet on that. One day at a time, one load of laundry at a time, one (or three) glasses of wine at a time.
Also, stop scaring me. I have four weeks until I join you in Two Kid Land and you're making me nervous ;)
OH Michelle, this is why I love you so. You are able to say that some days...we fail! EPICALLY! You have NOT failed me, in fact you have made me feel SOOOOOO much better and so much more normal just to know that it isn't just me that feels that way!
You are amazing. You are a strong woman, a great wife, and a wonderful mother. You have style, you have the ability to turn something simple into something amazing-your Suess party for Finn was what inspired me to go and do just a LITTLE extra for Caden this time around-and you are real. That is perhaps the best of all. The ability to be able to say that things suck sometimes is not something that a lot of people have. It takes guts and you have got strength lady!
I wish I could come and fold just one basket-heck, maybe even two-for you because I GET IT! I understand...I currently have a mound of laundry waiting for me too. The one thing that saves me is that our washer and dryer are in the unfinished part of our basement and I can pile the laundry on a piece of cardboard on the floor and sort of pretend that it isn't there.
You are right...it is hard. It will get easier, I promise. I was exactly where you are just a few months ago. Then I hit a state of bliss with the boys. And now, it's hard again-Jack is Mr. Fussypants working on some teeth or something...at least I hope so. I hope that is the reason for his nonstop crying and clinging to my legs when I walk through a room! He is even now in my arms trying to reach the keyboard!!!
Thanks for being real, my friend.
you've had the answer all along. WINE. Diane.
I know I've told you this before, but you're talking about my daily life (minus the baby puke. We're finally past that stage, thank God!). It will get marginally better as Tate gets older. Until then, I suggest copious amounts of wine. And letting me do your laundry. Our sewer issues have taken my laundry away from me, and it makes me sad.
Also, you sent D to the store to get him away from the screaming baby. That totally counts as something nice you did for him on his birthday!
I'm there. And our kitchen is being redone so I have crap piled everywhere. The dining table in the formal is nothing more than a dumping ground. The clothes? Forget it. The amount of tv Ava watched before going back to school? Sad. But they all love us and you will get into a routine. For now, let that madness happen (I know, I know, I can't exactly let it either, but youve gotta).
Hugs.
You are not an epic life fail! It's called being a mom. :) Seriously you just have a lot on your plate. I was in your shoes last year at this time. We bought a house, sold a house, and moved. Had a baby. And I was planning a SURPRISE 40th birthday party for my husband (to be held at new house) all at the same time. I was basically a complete bitch from July through New Year's Eve (the night of the party). It was sooo stressful.
So my point is that you are normal! It sounds like your husband is awesome. Keep leaning on him and your friends and family for support. Don't worry about the house. Take naps when you can. Soak up the baby stuff. Preschool is going to be tough but you may enjoy the break too? Remember, you're still in survival mode having just had a baby! That is your excuse and milk it for as long as you can. :)
Hang in there!
It is ok. Just keep telling yourself, this is normal & it is ok. Relax & start afresh in the morning. & if it is crazy again, that's ok too. I have beat myself up over this kind of thing for YEARS. Prayer & therapy have me to where I am fine, but had to learn to forgive myself as I would others & it is ok. You are so loved. Enjoy your younguns & hubby & don't worry the rest will sort out.
Cut yourself some slack and have a glass of wine, can you "jump" Dave yet??? ;) That might make you forget laundry, not vomit, but laundry.
***Hugs***
I know how you feel. I still haven't figured out how to deal with it. I say try to relax and wine, lots of wine!
You look fabulous, btw!
Oh, I know those days well. I'd suggest an awesome chic flick ... Bridget Jones comes to mind ... soak your feet, have a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate and get to bed early. In the morning, take a walk. BREATHE in the beautiful air and watch the clouds. It's so important to get outside every single day.
Maybe when your husband is home, he'll take the kids for an hour or so and allow you an opportunity to organize your house, uninterrupted. It always makes me feel better and a bit more "in control" for whatever that's worth. Birthing four children in less than three years (triplets plus one) I was all about trying to regain SOME sense of control. Even if it was just an illusion...
As for the blog? Take a break for a few days or, you can just post pictures for a while. A photo with a title, because sometimes words aren't necessary. Regarding your husband, I'd do something special for him a month after his birthday. Or maybe six months after his birthday. We just attended a party for someone who was celebrating their 40 1/2 b-day because the family couldn't pull something together in February. It worked and we all had a great time.
Remember, no one is going to be as hard on you, as you are on yourself. So do your best to relax and enjoy. These days go by so dang fast...
PS: You are adorable. I love that shot of you. SO CUTE!! :)
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