Pet Peeves

I am a self professed freak about certain things.  And today I am letting my freak flag fly.

My pet peeve list runs deep.  I’d rather be known for all eternity as the freak who can’t stand close talkers than to deal with you breathing down my neck.  So back it up.  That’s right, get your stinky hot breath off of me or I will punch you in the junk.

Ask me to not wash all the underwear in the house separately, on the hottest water setting and I will flip out.  {Yeah, that one came after my friend Stace attended a conference and told us all the nasty bits from underwear that are spread throughout your clothes.  You need the hottest water possible for that not to happen.  Freaked me the hell out, so all underwear separately on hot water it is.} 

And along those same lines, don’t ever let me catch you not washing your hands after you use the bathroom.  We would probably cease being friends, being unsanitary and spreading your bodily fluids to other stuff people touch?   You, my friend, are just disgusting.

There can be a giant pile of dirty clothes on our bedroom floor, but the hangers in every closet have to be facing the same way and so do the clothes. 

Liars & hypocrites.  Oh, that is a big one!  Not only do you bug me, but I can’t trust a single thing you say. 

Don’t chew with your mouth open, smack your lips, lick your fingers {unless you’re eating hot wings} and PLEASE no disgusting table manners.  For reals, if we have eaten together and you do any of these things, there is a mental list in my head that says Will NOT Be Invited For Dinner Ever and you are on it.

Dave’s ‘thing’ is the toilet paper.  It has to be on the holder in an over position… sometimes I switch it just to screw with him. 

His shirts have to be folded only by him… in thirds, then again in thirds… that one is a holdover from his military days.  I don’t have the patience and I don’t do it right, so he happily does it himself. 

He’s also a hand washing freak much worse than I.  Just TRY to put something sticky on his hands and he’ll be at the sink scrubbing away faster than you can blink.  Did I mention we have an almost four year old boy???  Do you realize the amount of sticky shit he gets into?

So fess up, what’s your biggest pet peeve??  Pen clicking?  Improper grammar?  Someone who puts one swig of orange juice back in the fridge?  Gum chewing?  Slow drivers?  People that are constantly late?  People who talk on the phone in restaurants?  People with long pet peeve lists? 

Spill it!