I have regaled you with tales of my mom before. She is proud of my blogging, yet she doesn’t get why people on the internet want to read about our crazy family. Five minutes later she usually provides some kind of fodder for me to blog about because she is quite possibly certifiably crazy. Lovely, generous, and amazing as well, but the crazy is the one that comes through loud and clear.
Allow me to illustrate. She truly believes that she can purchase karma points. I am not even kidding. Buying a random stranger breakfast? Yes, it earns you a free day of road rage. Yesterday, she bought us all lunch because she is building up karma points for next week. {Someone should be very scared.}
My favorite Janet stories though are the celebrity run ins. There was, of course, the Snoop Dog incident. And her recycling date with “one of those guys” from Nine Inch Nails. Those two are worth a read, so go on ahead and click over.
But now. Martha?
While she was on a recent trip to Florida this cell picture popped up in my inbox.
The grainy chick sitting right there in the center is Martha. Ten feet from my mother. The miracle here, unlike the previous two incidents, is that my mom actually knew who Martha was and there wasn’t an embarrassing encounter to be had. Well, unless you count the fact that the man to my mother’s left happened to be whispering loudly some not so flattering comments in regards to Martha’s less than taut neck waddle until she leaned over and whispered, “You do realize HGTV is filming right behind our shoulder?” He gulped and shut up. So perhaps somewhere on the editing room floor are some comments that are better left unshared. Other than that, unscathed.
Considering the comments didn’t come from her AND the fact that she actually knew who it was. We’re just going to go ahead and count it as her first successful run in with a celebrity.
All goes well for the rest of the trip and she returns home safely back to the frozen tundra of Ohio. The next night we go out to dinner and she tells us about her trip, how endlessly proud she was of her team and their hard work, and then she mentions Danielle.
That’s Danielle right there, her “work daughter” that I am pretty sure she likes more than her real daughters. I’m not sure if it’s because Danielle was once the Walleye Queen {another story for another day} or because she is hilarious, either way she is awesome. She starts laughing and explaining that the entire time they were in Florida, she felt like she was with my evil twin because Danielle kept taking pictures of all the food.
I mean, ok… I am a blogger so I have a reason to do it. {Sort of.} Danielle just does it because she likes it, so I made her send the pics to me so I could share with you.
There were gators made of butter.
A tray of mini desserts that she made my mom ‘model’ a la Vanna White.
And the famous palm tree coulis decorating the cheesecake plate.
And this scrumptious chocolate beauty that they should have snuck home to the pregnant girl.
So there you have it, the Walleye Queen’s dessert filled trip through Florida. Are you a food picture taker? Y’all oooh and ahhh over her gator butter in the comments pretty please!
The butter alligators are cute, but I'd rather be digging into the desserts. They are so adorable and I'm sure were sooo yummy!
ReplyDeleteThere is a whole Facebook group of people who take pictures of their food.
ReplyDeleteThat gator butter is awesome! I love seeing pictures of other people's food. I don't know why I don't take more. I really should start to do that.
ReplyDeleteNo I don't take pictures of my food, but I do like when others do and then share....but I totally love your mom (and sister) stories....more please...
ReplyDeleteBuying Karma Points? Why have I never thought of this!!! I can do this!!!!
ReplyDeleteI just read the NIN story & was laughing outloud at "however long it takes me to throw it in." I'm making a roadtrip to Ohio for drinks with you two, after the baby arrives of course.
ReplyDeleteLove the butter and tell your mom she has the hands of a 20 year old!
ReplyDeleteI totally take pictures of my food. Shhhh. I love that she buys karma points. Awesome and hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOkay, just read the two links. I'm officially in love with your mom. I met a colleague who's mom sat next to Clint Eastwood during a lunch break on a movie set and she lectured him that the banana he was eating was not a proper lunch. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteMy husband un-friended a guy on Facebook because of his food pictures. He couldn't handle looking at another iPhone pic of reheated enchiladas or a half eaten salad.
ReplyDeleteThose are examples of bad food photos.