If you need an ego boost watch Judge Judy.

Have you ever watched this show?  I’m not quite sure why, other than the train wreck that kept me watching, and the fact that I was spending an afternoon flat on my back on the couch that made me watch in the first place, but I feel like I’ve lost an hour of my life. 

My absolute favorite thing, other than feeling better about myself is the facial expressions that the bailiff has while he’s passing things to the judge.  The shit he witnesses is nothing short of a circus of midgets that marry each other’s sister’s mother’s cousin.  He probably feels better about himself on a daily basis too.  How could you not?

Friends that hate each other, leases left because your girlfriend’s mother {ACK!} moves in, hair weaves gone wrong, people meeting online and jilted when the troll looking woman marries another person and yet continues to be ‘engaged’ to the original guy.  I’m telling you, it’s a treasure trove for feeling good about yourself.

How was your weekend?

Weird Stuff I Eat When Pregnant.

Oranges by the bag.

Coleslaw & sea salt potato chips.  Together.  Usually like the coleslaw is the dip for the chips, but sometimes just a few crunched on top.

Salads with a Japanese ginger dressing that I begged & pleaded talked my favorite sushi place into selling to me by the quart.

Pizza doused with Frank’s Red Hot sauce.

Copious amounts of Tums Smoothies {way better than the original chalky stuff} to deal with aftermath of the Frank’s Red Hot.

Smoothies.  The real kind.  By the blender-full.  Right now it’s anything involving strawberries, pineapple, and cream of coconut.

Ice from the grocery store, full to the top in every beverage I consume. Everything. Must. Be. Ice. Cold. When I’m not pregnant, the maximum number of ice cubes in my water is two.  Dave is pretty sure that my drinking ice filled beverages are a sign of the apocalypse.

Plus… and this is the one that I am most ashamed of… ANYTHING that is suggested to me. 

It has gotten really really pathetic.

Watching Man v. Food hot wing challenge?  HOT WINGS!  Must have them.  A comedian talking about breakfast?  QUICHE!  Must find quiche at 9 pm.  A post on how to make the perfect popcorn?  POPCORN!  Daaaaaave!  Can you please run to the store and get ‘real’ popcorn?  Pretty please!  Yes, I know you hate popcorn, but the baby really wants it.  A gorgeous bleu cheese wedge salad in my Google Reader at 9 am?  Don’t mind if I do.  My post from yesterday with all of the tasty desserts?  CHEESECAKE, must have cheesecake.

I have to say, at least it’s not pica.  I could be eating dirt.

Tell me what your pregnancy cravings were and make me feel a little better.

My Mom, Martha, & The Walleye Queen.

I have regaled you with tales of my mom before.  She is proud of my blogging, yet she doesn’t get why people on the internet want to read about our crazy family.  Five minutes later she usually provides some kind of fodder for me to blog about because she is quite possibly certifiably crazy.  Lovely, generous, and amazing as well, but the crazy is the one that comes through loud and clear. 

Allow me to illustrate. She truly believes that she can purchase karma points.  I am not even kidding.  Buying a random stranger breakfast?  Yes, it earns you a free day of road rage.  Yesterday, she bought us all lunch because she is building up karma points for next week.  {Someone should be very scared.} 

My favorite Janet stories though are the celebrity run ins.  There was, of course, the Snoop Dog incident.  And her recycling date with “one of those guys” from Nine Inch Nails.  Those two are worth a read, so go on ahead and click over.

But now.  Martha? 

While she was on a recent trip to Florida this cell picture popped up in my inbox.

The grainy chick sitting right there in the center is Martha.  Ten feet from my mother.  The miracle here, unlike the previous two incidents, is that my mom actually knew who Martha was and there wasn’t an embarrassing encounter to be had. Well, unless you count the fact that the man to my mother’s left happened to be whispering loudly some not so flattering comments in regards to Martha’s less than taut neck waddle until she leaned over and whispered, “You do realize HGTV is filming right behind our shoulder?”  He gulped and shut up.  So perhaps somewhere on the editing room floor are some comments that are better left unshared.  Other than that, unscathed.

Considering the comments didn’t come from her AND the fact that she actually knew who it was.  We’re just going to go ahead and count it as her first successful run in with a celebrity.

All goes well for the rest of the trip and she returns home safely back to the frozen tundra of Ohio.  The next night we go out to dinner and she tells us about her trip, how endlessly proud she was of her team and their hard work, and then she mentions Danielle. 

That’s Danielle right there, her “work daughter” that I am pretty sure she likes more than her real daughters.  I’m not sure if it’s because Danielle was once the Walleye Queen {another story for another day} or because she is hilarious, either way she is awesome.  She starts laughing and explaining that the entire time they were in Florida, she felt like she was with my evil twin because Danielle kept taking pictures of all the food. 

I mean, ok… I am a blogger so I have a reason to do it.  {Sort of.}  Danielle just does it because she likes it, so I made her send the pics to me so I could share with you. 

There were gators made of butter.

 

A tray of mini desserts that she made my mom ‘model’ a la Vanna White.

And the famous palm tree coulis decorating the cheesecake plate.

And this scrumptious chocolate beauty that they should have snuck home to the pregnant girl.

So there you have it, the Walleye Queen’s dessert filled trip through Florida.  Are you a food picture taker?  Y’all oooh and ahhh over her gator butter in the comments pretty please!

Valentine’s Day Treats

Need some quick and easy Valentine’s Day treat ideas?  Enjoy these oldies, but goodies from last year.

Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Oreos & a quick tutorial on how to make those cute chocolate hearts.

Vanilla-Almond Valentine Cookies

We’re trying to decide what our Valentine treats will be this year.  Any suggestions?

Winner!

The winner of the big ass box to beat the winter blues is Tara from Misc Momma.  Tara, don’t forget to send me an email with your address & congrats!

43 Dinner Ideas

Coming up with last minute dinner ideas is the bane of my existence.  As much as I try to make a menu plan and stick to it, we’re just not that type of family, we usually sit around and talk about what we are going to make or what sounds good and then eat way later than we should.  One thing I have found that works for us is to keep a list of our favorites.  On any given night when “nothing sounds good!” I can take a peek at the list and come up with something quickly and easily.   Some of these are simple like hamburgers on the grill and some like dough for homemade pizzas, take a bit more planning, but all are ideas that my family loves.   For favorites that I’ve featured here at So Wonderful, So Marvelous or specific recipes I’ve found on the web I’ve included a link, but most are self explanatory and EASY to throw together without a recipe. 

I’d LOVE to add some more ideas to our list.  What are some of your family’s favorites?

1. spaghetti, salad, & garlic bread
2. homemade pizzas or calzones {great if everyone wants their own toppings}
3. hamburgers on the grill with thai pasta salad & sweet corn
4. smoked sausage, pierogies, sauteed red cabbage, & mashed potatoes
5. beef stew
6. grilled cheese & tomato soup
7. spinach salad with warm bacon dressing
8. chili
9. crockpot potato soup
10. swedish meatballs with fries & lingonberry {pick up all the supplies to make this quickie at Ikea}
11. quiche & green salad
12. tacos & guacamole
13. turkey breast & “fakesgiving” {aka a mini Thanksgiving dinner}
14. enchilada casserole
15. roast made in the crockpot, corn, & mashed potatoes
16. barbequed grilled chicken, sweet corn, & green salad
17. breakfast for dinner {eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, & orange juice}
18. cobb salads
19. chicken in white wine sauce & roasted carrots {this can also be made into bite size pieces, add sauteed mushrooms & served over noodles}
20. BLT sandwiches
21. braised short ribs & horseradish mashed potatoes
22. veggie stir fry, rice, & takeout egg rolls {you could also use frozen}
23. caribbean black beans & rice
24. chicken pot pie
25. pork tenderloin with apricot mustard with baby red potatoes & asparagus
26. cheese tortellini with red grapes & walnut pesto cream sauce
27. meatloaf {or better yet meatloaf cupcakes}
28. chicken gyros, orzo salad, & tzatziki
29. french dip sandwiches {there are TONS of recipes to be had} with oven fries
30. coq au vin blanc {we make ours loosely based on this minus the bacon & fennel}
31. pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, & potato chips
32. buffalo chicken pizza
33. croque-monsieur {ham & cheese on bread dunked in egg & grilled like french toast}… add a fried egg to the top & it’s a croque-madame
34. shish kabob & couscous
35. grilled teriyaki chicken with rice, steamed broccoli & carrots
36. sloppy joes
37. grilled bratwurst {microwave in a beer bath for about 5 minutes before} with chips & spicy mustard
38. grilled pork chops & apple sauce
39. loaded baked potatoes, steamed veggies and green salad
40. asian chicken salads
41. grilled veggie pasta
42. rice noodles with thai peanut sauce, zucchini, & sauteed onions {we use Jade peanut sauce}
43. grilled turkey sliders with cheddar, avacado, & bacon, serve with picnic sides

Positive.

Joy.  Lots and lots of joy.  We are expecting July 4. 

I took this photo on October 22.  That is a long time to keep quiet for a loudmouth like me.  Especially since we have been waiting and trying, and trying and waiting for what seems like forever.  The day the magical plus sign would appear.  And to my secret keepers?  You will never realize how amazingly wonderful your support has been these last 16 weeks.  Thank you.

So now, we patiently await our cute little bean.  

It’s GIVEAWAY time!

In honor of having 200 Facebook peeps on the So Wonderful, So Marvelous page we’re having a giveaway.  And if you’re not on there… why the heck not?  We’re fun.  We’re likeable.  We have questionable taste and loose morals.  Just me?  Oh.  Um.  Come hang out anyway. 

What can you win?  A big ass box to beat the winter blues.  Surprises galore of at least $50 worth of some of my winter favorites all snuggled up in a sweet postal box with YOUR name on it.  I *may* even make it pretty since you know I got screwed out of my fancy Christmas.  Dude, who wouldn’t want that?

What do you have to do to win?  Tell me your favorite winter product and BE SURE that you include a way to get a hold of you.  That’s it.

The fine print?  This giveaway isn’t being sponsored by anyone but me, myself, and I.  You need to be in the US or Canada to win.  You can enter only once and you have until Wednesday, January 19 at 11:59pm EST to enter.  The winner will be chosen randomly & announced on Thursday or Friday.

TA DAAAAA!

Miscellany

As if almost every one of my posts aren’t miscellany.  I’m going to shut my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, and pretend that they’re not.

I am over at Style Lush today talking about my love of Finn’s Leapster.  Just as I was writing that post, he got it taken away for four days for throwing a fit about turning it off to pick up his toys.  And we were doing so well…

Finn’s 4th birthday is in April.  He decided today that it’s going to be a cowboy theme.  Can you tell that Sheriff Woody and Toy Story 3 in general is still all reigning at our house?  I put the nix on a Toy Story party early {after last year’s CARS I can’t do another all out commercial theme too expensive!} and gave him about 383929 other suggestions.  Zoo party!  Superhero!  Pirates!  Circus!  Then he saw a catalog and decided he wanted a cowboy party which will have to include Sheriff Woody & Jesse because he’s already asked about wearing his costume from Halloween.  Yee haw.  I know zilch about cowboys.  Any ideas?  I’ll take em.

I haven’t picked up my camera since the incident that knocked me on my ass and ruined Thanksgiving.  I find a lot of blogging inspiration in my pictures so tomorrow I’m back on it.  Before that, I felt like I couldn’t write enough and now I’m struggling and fighting a mad addiction to Wheel of Fortune on Facebook in lieu of spending my online time productively.  I think part of it is the picture taking, it forces me to remember things I want to share.

Also incident related, I’m currently dreaming up a dinner party because I got screwed out of my fancy tables for Thanksgiving.  Details will be forthcoming when I figure out what I’m going to do.

My 101 things in 1001 days also is in desperate need of an update.  There are several things that need crossing off, books that have been read, things that have been accomplished.  My favorite part of lists is crossing the damn things off so I don’t know why I’ve been lax on this.  Yes, yes I do.  It’s called sheer laziness.  And streaming Netflix.  We watched an obscene amount of Man v. Food yesterday and oddly everything he ate looked good so we had a hard time deciding on dinner last night.

Are you my Facebook friend?  For the love of all things holy I want to do a giveaway!  Get me to 200 {dude, that’s just 10 of you} and I’m doing one.  Check out my sidebar on the right, click on the Facebook icon and voila! 

And last but, not least I’m opening it up to questions from you.  Anything you’ve always wondered?  Anything you want to ask that I haven’t already told you?  Let’s hear it.

And if you made it all the way through all that drivel, you’re my new best friend.

Hey you! What is that you’re reading?

It’s January.  It’s time to reinvent yourself and make bullshit resolutions that you know you won’t even remember in February.  Everyone is in clean out mode. 

The closets.

The pantry.

Google Reader.

I’ve been having to do some cleaning out and now I’m down to a pitiful handful that I really really love.  Ok, by handful I mean a pretty big handful.  For those I’ve let go, it’s me not you.  I can’t get into blogs that are blatantly pushing products that I don’t {and I am pretty sure the author doesn’t either} use in the name of you getting free stuff.  I don’t want to read about you being awful to people and finding amusement in it.  And I don’t want to go from reading a fabulous blog to only getting daily pics from your 365 photo project.  Start another blog for that, don’t torture your readers… we miss the “you” of your blog.  And some, some I just find myself clicking through because I’m not currently in party planning mode or cooking much or crafting.  You guys have gone to a folder for rainy days because I just can’t quit you.   

I assure you, things won’t be changing here.  You will still be getting rants and parties and kid stuff and mostly more rants and me babbling like an idiot and making a fool of myself in some way.  Now that I’m feeling better, I am going to be posting more and I’ll be back at Style Lush on Tuesdays.  And I have some fun things coming up for you and for me in the next couple months. 

So today, I want to know your favorites.  Blogs, that is.  Feel free to whore out your own blog, but also tell me the blog {or two or three} that you can’t live without each day.  They can be big or better yet, a hidden gem that you can’t believe hasn’t made it big yet.  

I Fired My Doctor.

I will preface this post with:  I am not dying.  This was written a bit ago and everything, everything turned out wonderfully.

I was seeing a specialist, in fact the only person in the city {and we’re not in a small town by any means} in that specialty.

At the first appointment it was split into two parts, we waited a half an hour for the first part and another forty-five minutes for the second part.  So if you’re counting the second part of the visit was actually an hour and fifteen minutes after it was supposed to be. 

And I was tired and pissed, but I tried to be understanding that this is a specialist and emergencies pop up, right?

And then I had questions that on the surface seemed pretty simple, but couldn’t be answered.  And their waiting room was like a poster child for every white trash person in the city and reeked of cigarette smoke and weird smells.  And my gut… my gut kept telling me that this was WRONG. 

I shrugged it off and thought maybe I was being an elitist asshole because I didn’t feel well.  I kept chalking it up to nerves which in retrospect, was really really stupid of me. 

I was researching everything online too, talking to other patients, reading medical journals, learning what technology is available, what is normal and what is not and things, they didn’t make sense to me.  And statistics he quoted me, things he actually wrote down as fact didn’t make sense and seemed off from what I was reading.  Off by a lot.  Statistics that shouldn’t be off at all when making decisions about which route to take with my medical care.  Did I mention that he ‘suspects’ {and also wrote that down} that I was a type 2 diabetic even though um, I explained to him I’ve had actual bloodwork done to rule that out and I’m not.  And if you haven’t gathered from all that, he wasn’t really listening when we were having a conversation.  He was talking at me because, I believe he is a pompous fucking asshole.  Ahem.  That is beside the point.

But, this is a specialist and specialists know everything, right?  He is after all the only one in the city.

And then after stewing and freaking out for two weeks, they cancelled an outpatient procedure with less than 24 hours notice due to the doctor’s scheduling conflicts.  I scheduled an appointment two weeks prior and with less than 24 hours to go they just discovered the conflict?  The nurse was really flippant about it too, obviously knowing I was going to be upset by the whole thing she started the conversation with, “Well, I’m probably going to rock your world but we have to reschedule,” in a singsongy voice.  Professional, eh?  Never mind the fact that my husband took two days off work and I found a sitter for half a day and you know um, this has been planned for two fucking weeks.

So I thought about it.  I stewed on it.  And I decided that, you know what?  This isn’t acceptable.  It’s NOT ok for me to feel uncomfortable about this, it’s not ok to feel like someone was shouting in my head, “RUN.  RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.” 

And when I finally was at peace with everything?  The moment I called the nurse {ten minutes after she called to reschedule} and told her that I would absolutely not be back.  Ever.  I outlined exactly why, just in case there were any misunderstandings and she was genuinely shocked that I wasn’t just going along because, you know he’s the only guy in town in this specialty. 

Fuck that, he’s not laying a single hand on me.

And then I called Dave and told him I fired the doctor and he was as relieved as I was… information he probably should have shared with me before hand.

I’d rather drive an hour each way {in snowy winter} to another big town and see someone who makes me feel like I’m making the right choice in putting my health in their hands.  This isn’t something to be light about and I don’t think enough people put enough stock in that.  The new doctor?  They were able to get me in for an appointment the very next day, have the technology that I was looking for, were able to answer questions without pulling out 12 binders and looking for the answer, and came highly recommended... as in have done hundreds of this procedure, not less than fifty.  Did I mention that she has also published many medical journals in her specialty?  She knows her shit and better than that, I trust that when my life is in her hands, it is well protected.  Dave and I don’t even care that she’s out of network and we’re going to have to pay out of pocket for most of it.

I’m worth it.  

Have you ever fired a doctor?

2010 at So Wonderful, So Marvelous

My posts last year have ranged from fabulous parties, to the boring, to the ridiculous.  These, my favorites of 2010, aren’t the posts with the most views or writing that I am particularly proud of, but I think they most reflect who I am as a person.  I hope you’ve enjoyed this space as much as I’ve loved having you here.

January:  How to fix it so I can send you sweet ass email replies to your comments.  If you haven’t done this, do it.  Do it now.  Yes, I’m talking to you!

February:  I miss my plastic charm necklace.  Oh, and the sea salt chocolate covered Oreos are such a close second that I am linking those too.

March:  What a difference a year makes.  Little Miss Annabelle.

April:  Clomid and Finnegan and National Infertility Awareness Week.

May:  Random Acts of Kindness. 

June:  World, meet 6 1/2 year old me. 

July:  The one where I show you Finn’s Big Boy Room.

August:  Girlfriends.

September:  What do you DO all day? 

October:  Pumpkins and Hay Bales and Chickens, Oh My.

November:  The one where I reveal about how Spoiled I really am.

December:  Happy New Year, Dave threw up in my sink.

And one more thing?  Leave a link with your favorite post from YOUR blog in 2010, so I can take a peek!