Summer Guest Blogger Friday! It's Brittany from Barefoot Foodie!

I'm hazarding a wild guess here that you probably know {and may even harbor a girl crush on} Brittany from Barefoot Foodie.  Don't go over there expecting delectable treats though unless by treats I mean Bourbon Slushies, make up a big ass batch of those and read her archives.  If you've been ignoring your Kegels, you may just pee a little from laughing.  You've been warned.  She has just launched a new website Brittany, Herself and is also co-founder of Aiming Low.  She is a big shot fancy pants all over these here interwebs and she is my friend.  {OK, so I may have hated her for two weeks in 2007 when she gave birth two weeks early and I was a week overdue...}  I would also like to say that I can not be held liable for anything she decides to share with you.  Ahem, here's Brittany!


It's hot.


Too hot for me to pretend that I'm going to share any sort of recipe with you that doesn't involve drinking a tumbler of margarita while standing in front of an open fridge door in my underwear.


So, I ordered in, and, instead, will talk to about something way more important than food, politics, religion, or even this mythical oil spill everyone keeps clamoring on and on about.


Dolphins dying of mysterious black goo seeping from a hole in the bottom of the ocean?


Where are we? Hogwarts?


No, this is way more significant.


My television.


I get attached to things really easily. I don't like change. I get angry when people get all up in my normal and fuck with things.


Namely. TV Networks.


They axe all my favorite tv shows and replace them with pretend reality dating shows, and shows about switching spouses or making fun of fat people.


I can do all that shit on my own for free.


I want a well written, fictional story line, covering the stuff I don't already see each weekend in the anti-itch cream aisle of Walmart.


I can't list for you the sheer number of shows I morn on a daily basis, because I'm too drunk to find my list, but here are some of my favorites...


My So Called Life. Confession. I dyed my hair red and got a bob just like Angela Chase. I dated our school's version of Jordan Catalano. This show was my life. Even when my boyfriend cheated on me after we made out in the school parking lot, with a non red-headed, non flannel shirt wearing cheerleader, and told everyone I wouldn't go past first base and I kissed like a fish, I still swooned over Jordan. Although, in an ironic turn of events, at our 10 year reunion, my ex-boyfriend, much like Jared Leto, turned out to be a complete douche bag, and I'm pretty sure they both have gonorrhea and small penises. So, in the end I guess I win. Life lesson? Date Brian Krakow.


The Nanny. Ok, now wait. I already know what you are gonna say, but you're wrong. This show was amazing. The story lines were consistently strong, it was funny, the theme song was catchy, her boobs were real, her hair was frizzy, in fact, SPOILER ALERT, the show didn't even jump the shark when Fran and Mr. Sheffield got married and had twins. They were basically the original Ross and Rachel. Only instead of we were on a break, they had, he took it back. Which, in my opinion, is waaay more assy and dramatic. In fact, the only thing I don't miss about The Nanny? Man-child Brighton's awkward bald spot. Sigh. I wonder if he's dead, lemme google it.......no, not dead. Bald, but still totally breathing. I totally had him confused with the kid from Ladybugs. He died. Right? Ugh, wait........yes. Dead.


Dirty, Sexy, Money.  OMG the series finale of this show was...OH WAIT. They didn't air the series finale. They just canceled it. No answers, or tying up of the storylines, or closure. I need closure. I need things wrapped up with bows and happiness. Not me doing the walk of shame the next day with old mascara and my panties balled up in my pocket, wondering what the fuck just happened. I want my congressional-tranny wedding. I want Juliette to come back from her real life rehab stint/island in the middle of fucking nowhere story line and be awkwardly touchy with her twin brother. I want Nick to pretend that Karen doesn't look 50 and menopausal, and that she could totally, logically, be carrying the baby of her father's ex business partner who has some weird obsession with glass swans and likes to kidnap underage Asian boys. HOW IS WIPE OUT BETTER THAN THIS SHOW!?


Dead Like Me. This hurts the most. Not because they ended it before any of my questions were answered. Not because they replaced it with that stupid show Huff, that nobody watched and was canceled after 5 seconds (Hello!? Everyone knows Hank Azaria is the poor man's Mandy Patinkin). Or because it was a complete waste of a truly unique and well written show. It hurts because they did the worst thing imaginable. They made a straight to DVD, post series movie. You know, to tie things up. Only, half the cast was missing, the story line was horrific, and OMG I PAID AMERICAN DOLLARS FOR IT. Life After Death was the worst DVD ever made, second only to Weekend at Bernies II. Or anything Eddie Murphy was in after Beverly Hills Cop 2. And now? It's ruined. My brain can never go back to when the show was good, I am stuck in the alternate universe where everything sucks and puppies die for no reason at all. Fuck you, Showtime. The oil spill is probably just the planet crying over how you massacred Dead Like Me. Even Earth hates you.


See!?


Now I'm all upset.


I'm going to go drink in front of my open fridge until the fat people on Wipe Out start to look like CC Babcock.