Summer Guest Blogger Friday! It's Amy!

If Amy had a blog that she EVER updated I would link to it, but I'm guessing that she just needs to get on it and start a new one. You can tell her so in the comments. Instead she likes screwing stuff up over here from time to time. Like when my scheduled guest poster goes MIA and I need someone for tomorrow! She steps in and rocks. Amy is my "go to" girl when I need a healthy dose of reality, an ear to listen, or to just laugh my ass off. She has an unyielding love for Hanson {I am not even kidding} and New Kids on the Block... I think that's right? One of those boy bands... they all blend together! Anywho, aside from that, she is a talented tampon angel craftswoman, makes a mean boat drink and she is a lovely friend. I'll let you all get to Amy now... Have a SAFE and WONDERFUL Fourth of July!


Hello there, faithful readers of Michelle! It's been awhile since we last spoke, and since then, my yearlong awkward transition has all but ended. I'm settling into a new job, a new house and I'm really starting to love NY. (Disclaimer: I still <3 OH. As a matter of fact, my lovely SIL and brother are smuggling me some Montgomery Inn BBQ sauce this very weekend. And sometimes when I'm lonely, I go get a $4 can of Skyline Chili, put on an XU t-shirt, and dream about what OTR tastes like.)

I'm not kidding.

Anyway, I really came here today to tell you about my near-death experience from last week. I am now the survivor of two, yes, TWO earthquakes - and I've never even BEEN to California! We are not safe anywhere, people!

Earthquake #1 (April 2008)

This is one of those instances where life likes to send me little messages that God thinks he's pretty damn funny.

You should know that I am a sleeper. I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime and sleep for days if left to my own devices (meaning: the husband lets the dogs out). Several roommates have checked on me to make sure I'm still breathing. My mom always joked that I could sleep through an earthquake.

Well.

I'm sure you know where this is going.

Yes, apparently after rocking out at the Hanson concert that night, I was so exhausted I fell asleep and slept right through the earthquake. I thought my friend was joking when she called to see if we'd woken up from the earthquake. Um. No.

Earthquake #2 (last week)

My office is located inside an old factory. Don't worry, it isn't one of those cool converted warehouses with exposed beams and artsy renovations. No, no, this is much more 1980s plastic-wood-chic. I have long questioned the structural integrity of the building , seeing as every time a train goes by, the whole building vibrates.

At least I have a room with a view. Sorry about the cell phone pics.

On said day of earthquake, I was sitting at my desk, which coincidentally, straddles a fault line:

See the tape?

It actually covers up a giant seam in the floor where two sections of the building have been joined. Luckily for me, the tape stops the draft of cold air that comes up from the seam. So, I'm sitting at my desk, and all of a sudden, the building starts to shake. I check to see if it's a train, but nothing. The wind isn't particularly strong either. The shaking gets more violent, and I seriously thought the building was going to come apart at my office, and I'd be left sitting in my chair while my desk crumbled away in front of me.

The giant cracking sound in the wall prompted my boss to shout for us to evacuate, and we all rushed outside where other building tenants had abandoned ship as well. Minutes later, all the cool people on their Blackberries and Droids (not me, I can't have nice things) confirmed it was indeed an earthquake, and not wanton disregard for any sort of building codes.

I'm happy to say I've gotten over the trauma , and we were actually just far enough away from the epicenter that there wasn't any real damage (that we know of!) Until the next natural disaster (or I get roped into guest blogging again) just remember, stop, drop and roll!!

Or something...

Cheers!