Facebook Intervention.

You know that show Intervention?  Well, if I had cable I might know what the hell it is about, but I don't.  But I would imagine it's about, well, interventions.  So I am going to send an email to the show.

Why?

Wait... first... whole internet, I would love to introduce you to Midge.

Isn't she like the cutest thing ever?

I love Midge.  She is my BFF.  She used to be Elise's BFF, but no one really likes Elise, so now she is mine.

Poor Midge needs an intervention in the worst way.  And since she loves to make fun of Elise for this post I wrote about Elise with fifteen guys and a crack whore in an attic, I thought perhaps we should do an intervention So Wonderful, So Marvelous style.

It might be the only thing to save her.

What, might you ask, is she doing that is intervention worthy?  At last count she had 176 197 203 pages "liked" on Facebook, with more added daily.  DAILY!  Oh, it's not all stuff like "I knew Drake when he was Jimmy on Degrassi" she's into the hardcore "like" stage. 

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

What Midge Likes on Facebook:

I hate it when I'm in a awkward situation and I can't find a twix.

Flipping the pillow over to get to the cold side.

Ok, If we get caught here's the story...  {I'm starting to see why you and Elise are friends...}

Yelling "GET IT" When You See Your Friend Flirting.  {I just don't "GET IT"}

I hate it when your seatbelt randomly locks and you can't move.  {Ok, I hate this too, but I don't 'like' it.}

"Oh you're going to ride my ass? Welcome to 20mph jerk."

"i'm tanner than you!" "nuh-uh!" *stick arms together* "....dang it" {This one had almost 238,000 likes!  What?}

If you're a bird, I'm a bird.  {Please tell me this means something.}

"You like that song?" "Nah, I just like Lil Wayne's part."  {WTF is a Lil Wayne?}

I'm paranoid because the spider I saw five seconds ago isn't there anymore.  {Fair enough.}

"Having a sweatpants, hair tied, chillen with no make up on" day.  {Finally, one I can like too!}

So, Midge we love you, but you need to stop liking.  It's killing you us your Facebook profile.  I know there are new temptations every day like when you realize you overslept and you jump off the bed like a ninja, but you have to be strong.  But not, "Thanks phone, for being strong everytime i dropped you" strong.

One thing I "like," So Wonderful, So Marvelous... saving Facebook, one Midge at a time. 
Umm, no one start this FB group ok, because then I will be forced to actually 'like' it.