Merry Merry.

I have lots to blog about andzero time to do it. We had a break in. Thanks lovely grinch. So that pretty tree with all the presents... yep... we were on a mad dash to replace everything. So, I'll blog about that later. And all of the baking. And my son trying to take cash out of the offering basket at mass. And all of the Christmas merriment going on. For now though, I'm enjoying time with the family.

Happy Christmas!

Things heard around my house.

"You don't hit people in the face with a bowling pin."

Then what sounded like a baby version of "bullshit."

And another round of hit daddy in the face with a bowling pin.

Eighteen.

Today, my baby sister is eighteen.

It is weird and I am old.

She is beautiful.
And amazingly intelligent.
And lovely.
And so very kind to her nephew.

She is an individual.
And goofy and hilarious.
She is who she is.
Which is rare at only eighteen.

My Sweet Elise Noel,

I fully admit that when I was an angst filled fifteen year old, I didn't want you to come, but now I can't imagine life without you. Your laughter fills our family with happiness and endless hours of amusement, even your nephew loves it. You have grown into such an amazing woman and I hope that the next eighteen years of your life bring as much personal growth and love and wonder as the last eighteen have. And even though you do dumb things sometimes, I wouldn't trade even a minute of being your sister for anything.

Love,
Your most favorite (and most beautiful) sister






I'm also including this pic from last year for three reasons. One, you're not scowling at me or the camera. And two, and more importantly, Midge was in this pic. Three, we totally missed the singing and cake tonight. We'll just pretend the good one was there tonight and that you are still 17.

Santa.

Nothing but love for the fat man.

After he climbed off of Santa's lap and got a candy cane, Santa became his best bud and he didn't want to leave.

Rolo TURTLES. (Not the bastard holiday M&M kind)

I make these Rolo Turtle Candies every year, usually multiple times, but always at Christmas. They're a huge favorite with our peeps and they are SUPER easy to make. There is also a bastardized version made with a holiday m&m, but if I ditched the pecans, I'd have an angry mob on my hands.  Don't let anyone talk you into making those.

Without further ado, here is the recipe:

1. Put the pretzels on a baking sheet, you can line with parchment if you want, but I don't find it necessary.

The key here is to put them pretty evenly spaced in rows, it will make the pecan step MUCH easier. You can use the circle pretzels, or the small twisty ones, but I prefer the square shaped that they call Snaps, it gives an even surface to place the rest of the stuff and gives the perfect ratio of crunch to chocolate.

2. Then you will place one Rolo candy on each pretzel.

3. Pop them in the oven at 350 {or slightly lower} for 4-5 minutes. They will look slightly shiny, but they will still look like a Rolo... in other words, they shouldn't melt all over the place.

4. Take them out of the oven {get a helper for this part if you are doing a lot of them} and place a pecan on top of each Rolo candy. Be careful not to burn yourself on the hot caramel or the sides of the baking sheet.

**There have been some fantastic reader comments about toasting the pecan first for a few minutes in the oven.  This is an excellent idea and the toasting adds a great flavor to the candies if you've got a few extra minutes, do it.

5. Then, gently push down squishing the Rolo. You do need a light touch on this part because if you squish them too much the Rolo gets everywhere and they're hard to remove from the pan when cooled.  I mean, they're still good to eat, but if you're gifting them, they don't look as pretty.

6. Let them cool at room temp, then pop them in the fridge or freezer to cool completely.  Wasn't this the hardest recipe you've ever encountered?

I store in the fridge to keep them longer, but remove them an hour or so before eating so the caramel softens up a bit. You can also store in a covered Tupperware container at room temp if you plan on eating them within a few days.

Oh, and one last thing, a REALLY helpful hint... Buy the Rolos at the checkout counter, not the bagged ones. I always forget and buy the bagged ones because we need so many of them, but then you spend more time unwrapping each individual one than you do for the whole rest of the recipe.  Or you can alternatively con your kids into unwrapping them, but then you'll likely be missing more than a couple.

Want another ridiculously easy and fancy little treat?  Make the Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Oreos!

The Meltdown in Children's Wonderland.

Crap. I was that mom today. You know the one. Carrying her SCREAMING, crying devil child out of Children's Wonderland. Yep, no elf trains for us, just the burning stigma of being the mom with the bad kid. This is a new thing for me you see... being the mom of the tantrum throwing child. And what a way to go. If you're going to do it, why not do it in the happiest place in the world, with Santa and all his reindeer watching? My son is nothing, if not larger than life when it comes to all things, so I should have seen this one coming. Forty five minutes of temper tantrm throwing and incessant screaming... thankfully only 10 of it was witnessed by all of the elves in the north pole and the animatronic racoons peeking out from behind the shower curtain and the three level bunk bed.

And then there is this guy... you have to love a child who will stick his tongue out at the camera wearing a reindeer hat. Amanda and J, maybe next year, you'll win the lucky tantrum throwing scene! For now, I hope Myles enjoyed being the good baby.

Rico might be gay and other musings.

How's this for a Friday night post?

1. My house is super clean (thank you Lori & Diane for doing an AWESOME job cleaning!!) and lovely and *almost* ready for tomorrow night. I am so excited, I can hardly stand it.


2. My step-dad might be gay according to my mother. He DOES have impeccable taste. The reason she's suspecting him of latent homosexuality? This.



Dear Readers... that is a Christmas tree meticulously cut out of red and green peppers with a star at the top. He not only made the delish spinach and artichoke dip, but decorated it as well. Fa La LA La Laaaaaa!

P.S. Rico, you know you're my kindred entertaining spirit. If you weren't having sex with my mother, I would probably marry you myself.

3. Finnegan is repeating everything we say. Everything. So yeah... if you see a little midget dropping the F bomb, he probably belongs to us.


4. If you haven't gotten your Christmas card from me yet, you might be one of the 14 I have left. I just can't seem to get those done and it is really annoying me, especially since the rest have already been mailed and probably received by now.

Substance.

I read a lot. Not nearly as much as I used to, but more than the average person I think. It's important for me to have Finnegan seeing that reading is valued in our house. He is already a little book worm, just ask Dave how many times we've read The Foot Book or Noises or Biscuit's Pet & Play Halloween. I'd read even if Finnegan weren't here, but it is even more important to make time to do it now.

My point of this post is that while reading the Twilight series or Laurie Notaro is fun, I feel like maybe some of those novels should be replaced with something of substance. So in 2009, I'm going to read at least one non-fiction book a month. So that's where you come in... what should be on my absolutely MUST read non-fiction list?

Goodbye.

One of my most favorite shows is leaving us. Tonight is the series finale of Boston Legal. If you haven't watched before, I highly recommend renting the dvds and laughing your ass off.

Here are some memerable quotes from resident law god, Mad Cow suffering, Denny Crane:

• "You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings? I'm going to sleep with your wife."
• ''We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians.''
• ''Bored? How can I be bored? I'm Denny Crane. Even the sound of my name fascinates. More, Sydney. More about me.''
• ''You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter lets him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says 'Who's that?' St. Peter says, 'Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane.''
• "Denny Crane never goes down, except as a lover, I'm a giver in bed. Was that relevant?"
• "Objection, badgering, oh wait, she's our badger."
• "I have an erection. That is a good sign. Let the trial begin."
• "The current president of the United States is George Walker Bush, son to George Herbert Walker Bush, whose father was the late United States Senator Prescott Bush, who, as an undergraduate at Yale, once wrestled my father in the nude. But that's a story for another day. Let's stick to the issues at hand. Denny Crane."
• "Oh, balls! Why does everyone wanna excuse me from the conversation? It's not like I'll remember it! Mad Cow, for God sakes!"

Hizzle Marizzle, I will be thinking of you & Al tonight!

Fa La FREAKING La.

On Saturday, my mom conned us into asked us to go with them to pick out a Christmas tree. You know, like on an actual farm where the trees are still standing and chainsaw weilding maniacs chase you help you cut down your very own tree. She also conned asked my sister and her family into coming. Family freaking bonding time, my friends. Bonding.


So we were supposed to get snow the night before and woke up to a whole lot of brown and dreary, but not any of the fluffy white stuff. That is to say, until we decided to leave for the 30 minute drive, when mother nature decided to reign down an inch of the fluffy white stuff. Perfect for a slick drive on country roads... did I mention that it was the first snow of the year and people are fucking idiots driving like they haven't ever driven in snow before. Oh, AND Finnegan decided to throw a fit because he wanted Gigi, so I rode out to BFE in the PW (pussy wagon) which is my step-dad's beat up, duct taped mirrors, no radio, bumpy ass, old pick up truck with my coffee rattling around.




We then traipsed through the frozen tundra Whitehouse Christmas Tree Farm looking for the perfect tree. Finnegan was frozen solid despite his warm layers and Aunt Lyndsey's scarf. He could barely see with the snow flying and wind howling... he needed someone on each side of him just to walk. The rest of those ass clowns family members left us in the dust and went running to find the perfect tree.







They finally found the perfect one and called out to us to traipse further into the woods. Turns out that someone else was coming back to get that particular tree and my mom graciously told them to take it. You know, Christmas spirit and all. We then had a family vote on which of the other trees to bring home decided on a beautiful 9.5 foot tree.






So they kill the beautiful tree that never hurt anyone cut down the tree. Shake all the critters out. Yes, they shake the hell out of that tree on their shaking machine so whatever may have made its home in there is evicted before you take it home. Then they shove it through the netting thing so it's all bundled for you.
















I'm secretly hoping for a critter stow away. You know, to make Christmas a little more interesting.










There she is, all bundled and ready for a ride in the PW.

Off to the biker bar we go. I am not even kidding. And if you knew (my mom) Gigi and Papa (step-dad), you would think this is even funnier.

The food was awesome though. Nothing like some fried pickles, huge burgers, and fries to mend some frozen toes. Oh and beer. Lots of beer. And watching Gigi "angry coloring" with the grandkids was pretty amusing too.

Genius.

Marta wrote about how to stuff stockings from items found at the grocery store! I love the list she came up with!

Check it out here.

Is there anything you'd add??

Little Baby No Name

does officially have a name now. I've been sworn to secrecy though until her mommy decides to tell everyone.


As you can tell, she and mommy are bonding and both are doing well! They get to come home tonight. I think they're both looking forward to it. I'm sure daddy & big brother Andrew will also be happy to have them home!





I did get to snuggle her up and boy is she TINY! Loads of crazy man hair sticking out all over the place. I told her mommy that she looked like a mini Einstein, only her hair is dark.






She is also not a fan of the papparazzi or the hair bow that her mommy made her wear. Ummm... that is a bold middle finger statement, don't ya think?

Ooooh Christmasy.

Can I just say that this is the BEST invention ever? It's an ornament that you plug into the outlet, then when you touch it, turns the tree on and off! No climbing under the tree to plug in the lights.

Is your tree up yet?