me - What's going on?
mom - Just got back from taking the recycling.
me - Oh?
mom - I met some guy from Nine Inch Nails.
me - WHAT????????
mom - Yeah.
me - WHAT?? Seriously? What happened?
mom - I was taking the recycling over. It's at Seagate. So I was throwing bottles in and the security guard came over and asked me how long it would be and I told him however long it took to throw the stuff in. Then I asked him if he wanted to help me so he did. {At this point in my mind I am thinking ok, someone walked by or whatever. But no....} So then this guy walks out of the tour bus and says that he wanted to see who was making all the noise. {I am hyperventilating at this point, please don't let it be Trent, please don't let it be Trent, please tell me my mother didn't just wake up Trent from his nap.} So, I told him it was me and asked if he wanted to help me too. So he said sure.
(SEVERAL MOMENTS OF PAUSE.)
me - ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?
mom - no. I didn't know who he was.
me - this is worse than Snoop Dogg. Worse than Snoop Dogg!
mom - what?
me - It didn't occur to you that he was walking out of a TOUR BUS??????
mom - I thought maybe he was a skateboarder or something. There was a skateboard outside the tourbus.
me - Oh. my. god. So then what happened?????
mom - So then he was yapping away for a little bit, I said thanks and left. I stopped at the security guard to tell him thanks and he said, "Mam, do you know who that was??" and I said no. So he told me it was so and so from Nine Inch Nails.
me - Who was it? Mom, was it Trent? Was his name TRENT??
mom - I don't remember. He had brown hair.
me - Jesus.
So mom.... which one of these guys helped you throw your fruitfly filled wine bottles into the recycling bin???????
OH MY GOD JANET!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhich one was he!!!!!!!!!!! You are freakin' killing me here!
UPDATE: Alessandro Cortini, just as hot, but not Trent Reznor.
ReplyDeleteOkay my little GROUPIES....it was the 2nd one from the right (the young one with brown hair)...and he was a very nice boy...and recycles (I gave him the speech about me doing my part to make Toledo Green)...he was cute in a hood rat kind of way (not the button down oxford type I like)...
ReplyDeleteALSO, Michelle...how am I supposed to know what NIN and Snoop Dog look like...I don't even listen to that kind of music...also, send Kathy an invite, she was losing it too when I told her the story..
love
mom (aka Joan Crawford)
I find it hilarious that your mother is this cool. And funny. She says "hood rat"!
ReplyDelete:::waving HI to Joan:::
I SERIOUSLY need to meet your mom. Stat.
ReplyDeleteAnd I need to start hanging out with her. Stat.
Weezer is going to be up in Michigan next month...maybe she and I can do some Tai Chi in a meadow and meet them? Ask her for me...
Just Joan (formerly Just Janet) it could only happen to you...
ReplyDeleteShocking that Jackie was the first reply. I recall a near obsession with Trent! Janet stories are fantastic, perhaps ship her to Memphis sometime.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me!?!?!?! Your mother. Oh lord.
ReplyDelete